Understanding, Lacking.

I feel like I give 100% to my relationships, and 70% of the time it smacks me in the face.

One thing I pride myself on is being able to admit when I’m wrong. I embrace my flaws and flawed characteristic traits. I am far from perfect yet I have nothing to hide from God, so why wouldn’t I embrace everything He sees, good and bad?

That’s why it’s hard to deal with people who throw your flaws back at you.

Someone I love, and I can admit that, because I do love him, even if he doesn’t love me (he once claimed he does but honestly, I can’t say I really believed him, especially with the way he treats me sometimes). Someone I love did that to me.

I made a huge mistake early on in our relationship, a really, really, big, stupid, dumb, immature mistake… and I admitted it, then I embraced it. I’m not perfect and my flaws are what make me who I am and so I admitted my wrongdoing to him, even with the cost of him possibly leaving me, and he forgave me.

I thought we moved past it but recently not only did he throw it back in my face but he threw it back in my face with the promise that the one thing I thought we were working towards in our relationship will never happen.

He said to me “you wanted *** and I’m not even going to *****”… Wow.

During the course of the conversation, we had a disagreement, and right when I was about to say to him “your right, I do ***, and I can be judgemental, your right about this, but my issue is that, when I’m telling you about something, you have a habit of cutting me off and inserting your opinions about something not even relevant to the topic at hand, because you want to express how you feel about that person…. but I wasn’t done! I was talking! Can I finish first!!! You NEVER LISTEN TO ME!”
But I never got that out because he hit me with that low blow…. and it hurt. So bad.

And my response was actually not even emotional. I asked him to leave so that I could be alone for some time..

A relationship is about mutual communication and understanding. You can’t get frustrated so easily with one another. Sometimes you have to step back and think, why does my partner feel this way? What am I saying or doing that is making them feel like I don’t understand or don’t care about their opinions?
Is that so hard?!?!?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s